Many of us know what it’s like to pretend to be someone were not. We may do it to fit in to a social group or to be liked. Playing a role requires a ton of effort which could be used for something else.
I’m someone who played a role for a large part of my life. It was something I perfected over decades. There came a point in 2015 where it was too much and I started a journey to discover who I really am. Little did I know this journey would bring me freedom, peace and love.
I’d like to share a personal story with you. I share it with a hope to inspire others to be who they are and love themselves.
I feel like I’m at point in my life, where I’m able to share this really personal part of me with you all. The reason I’m sharing it not to attract attention, but simply be honest with who I really am. I wanted to let you know that I’m a bisexual. I’m not sure if all of you are familiar with this term, but it means that when I’m finding a life partner, I could marry a man or a woman. I’m more interested in finding someone who I have a true connection with. The gender of the individual is not relevant to me. Just because I’ve shared this new detail about myself, it doesn’t change who I am. I’m still the fun, loving, sporty, adventurous and outgoing woman you’ve come to know. The label of bisexuality should not define me completely.
Coming out for anyone of the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) community is a journey and takes lots of courage. Generally speaking there are three steps. It starts coming out to yourself and accepting who you are. This involves healing the shame, guilt and fear of being different than the norm. The second stage is coming out to your immediate family members. There’s a lot of fear at this stage because you don’t know how your family will react and if they will accept and love you or disown you. The third stage is coming out to your extended family members and friends. At this point, one usually is more confident in their self and is able to take this courageous step. Like the previous step, you recognize that different people will have different reactions to the news. There’s also a hope that extended family members don’t shun one’s entire family because of the news. As you can see this is not an easy or comfortable thing to do for any individual that is part of the LGBT community. Over the last year I’ve been undergoing this journey. I’ve been taking conscious steps to focus on my journey of coming out. Coming out doesn’t mean that I won’t face challenges going forward. It just means that I have more assuredness to face those detours along the journey of life hopefully with the support of some allies.
Some of you may be wondering why it’s necessary for me to share this very personal piece of me with you especially since heterosexuals don’t have a “coming out” conversation. Heterosexuals also don’t need to answer questions such as: how does it feel to be a heterosexual, how did you know you are a heterosexual, how do you cope being a heterosexual. Unfortunately, we live in a society where being heterosexual is the norm and if you don’t fit into the norm than you need to make a safe space for yourself within your world where you can be honest with who you are with those that matter. The alternative is pretending to be someone who you are not just so you blend in.
Some of you may be wondering how long I’ve known this about myself. I’ve known for about 10 years, but I’ve always brushed it off. It’s only recently that I’m fully accepted this part of me and I came out in 2016. I can tell you it’s extremely exciting to know who I really am!
After coming last year out, I feel a whole new level of self love. Now that the secret is out, I feel free and like a huge weight off of my shoulders. I feel like I’ve been born again and I can live a life that is truly me. To celebrate me, I decided to take a spontaneous solo trip to Vegas from Dec 25-30, 2016 to celebrate me, embrace my sexuality and this milestone. After returning home, I def. felt like the trip was letting go of the old me and laying the foundation for the new me. There is also this new strength that permeates throughout my body now which I’m truly grateful for.
2016 was a year of emotional purging. I’m finally at a point where I love myself and I’m ready to show up as me in all circumstances of my life. I’m here to play big with the world and not hold back.